Half empty, half full, your choice.

speaking-in-forked-tongues:

  • A Hogwarts student weeping in a bathroom stall because the enchantment cast over their prominent scar/skin problem is wearing off
  • A Muggle-born classmate barging in stating “This was your problem?”  and remedying the issue with some Dermablend
  • Purebloods and some half bloods forever flinching when Muggle-borns reach for the powerful and obscure magic of their makeup bags

queenrinacat:

pantherwhales-spout:

izziesworldofizzie:

Every time I go downstairs to the laundry room, this pigeon tries to seduce me.

"we have incompatible genitals" is now my favorite excuse.

"breeding with me would be counterproductive"

gottabeastringplayer:

So my neighbors got angry at me once and asked me to not practice after 11 PM. I said fine, because I am a nice person.

They started vacuuming at 10:57ish. I waited until it was 11PM on the dot, and then broke out my violin. This is the first time in my life that a Bach sarabande has ever been used as an instrument of revenge.

promiscuous-petal:

enough about sex positions has anyone discovered a reading position which doesn’t get uncomfortable after 5 minutes

alycs:

alycs:

So today as a prank I made a sheet music print out of Miley Cyrus’ Wrecking Ball but replaced the name with “Christmas Time Meditation” and deleted the words and I’m going to put it in the with church music and see if the pianist notices.

He noticed and I can now add “Yelled at by two priests at once” to my list of accomplishments

Just touch these two strands together and the Daleks are finished. Have I that right?

244,547 plays

grinningmoonlight:

indigosignora:

I NEVER LAUGHED SO HARD AT A AUDIO POST JOKE

NOT EVEN ON MY OWN JOKES

blackbirdrose:

zerachin:

theongreyjoy:

that show you have every intention of watching and you are 100% confident that you’ll love but you refuse to watch right now because its not the right time.

#THE STARS ARE NOT IN POSITION TO WATCH THIS SHOW

image

nonicekk:

aypotayla:

 #supernatural karma

because life is fucking hilarious sometimes

I’ll just leave this here and let you think about things.

renew-leverage:

polytropic-liar:

There I was, innocently watching Leverage, having completely forgotten that Hardison takes his shirt off in this episode.

My sudden garbled noise of lust and subsequent choking on air was real dignified. I am an apex human being.

I know! We finally got to see him take his shirt off! And that boy is fit— apparently orange soda and gummies have no ill-effect on his fine ass. I would like to take this moment to thank the TV gods for giving me this opportunity to ogle. image